Playerrrs on the Playaaa

If you’ve been keeping track of the Mexican national holidays, you may have seen last weekend was yet another puente: bank holiday weekend. Of course, this means one thing and one thing only – a trip to the beach! Obviously.

Hang Out had organised a trip to Puerto Vallarta, a beach town on the pacific coast, so as per usual we hopped on the night bus for 14 hours or so (getting far too used to these long trips).

Our first stop was Sayulita, a beach near Puerto Vallarta. It was really pretty, although quite crowded (puente after all), and the sun was so strong so we hired some parasols. The water was wavey, like most pacific beaches, but luckily in this area is is a bit calmer than in Oaxaca for example. If you want to learn to surf, here seems like a good place! We swam, sunbathed, drank Pina Coladas, then after some confusion about what the time was (some of our phones had changed to a new time zone, but apparently they shouldn’t have), we hopped back on the bus to carry on to our hotel in Puerto Vallarta.

Unfortunately when we got there we experienced true Mexican organisation skills. We had to wait 2.5 hours in the lobby to check in due to some burocratic inconsistencies in the reception, so we ordered dominoes and ate it on the fancy entrance staircase. Stare all you want Mr security guard, give us a room or don’t complain! By the time we got our room, which was actually really nice, it seemed a bit late to go to the club (we had been told we’d get free entry before 11pm, it was 10pm at this point, and we didn’t want to pay the $700(!!!!) entrance fee.). But ever optimistic, we got ready and headed to the lobby for some rumoured pres.

When we got down there, some people were still waiting for their rooms (!!), so we didn’t want to bug people for the promised free booze too much, and waited patiently. Finally some other girls showed up, and by the time 10 of us were waiting (all girls, coughcough who says we take ages to get ready), we spammed the group whatsapp with photos and pleads for booze, and it worked! Tequila and Gin were duely sent down. Rom and I, as the only Brits, took up the task of leading some drinking games (other nationalities never seem to have any ideas except “lets do shots!!”). We played Mr and Mrs, which went down really well.

FINALLLLY we got to the club at about 1am, but luckily negotiated free entry. Phew! It was super fancy, but also really fresa, but hey not too bad.

The next day we had a free day in PV. My room of gals (Rom, Nat and Kat) were ready quite early, and waited at the pool to see what the others wanted to do. They said they wanted to get a bus to a beautiful beach about 20 mins away, and to meet in 30 mins in the lobby. So obviously 2 hours later we met them, and found the bus. Unfortunately it seemed no-one actually had researched this very well, which I realised when the guys started asking random old people on the bus for beach recommendations…. After an HOUR (of wasted beach time) on this bus, we got off at playa las manzanillas, which was really nice but really crowded. Not only was it a puente, it was also national children’s day (Um England why didn’t we have this day??), so there were SO MANY FAMILIES on the beach. But we found a spot, grabbed some fish for lunch (another hour wait ffs mexico get ya shit together), then borrowed a dodgy parasol from the restaurant and set up camp on the beach. The water was so nice, the perfect amount of wavey and the sun was awesome.

We got the bus back, freshened up and headed to a italian restaurant round the corner, which was LUSH. The woman who ran it seemed really indifferent at first, but then seemed to warm to us and gave us free wine and dessert! What a babe!

Since we were getting up at 5am the next day to go snorkelling, Rom and I decided to just go to pres and not to the club, but Katya and Nat did go, and ended up getting back at 5am with no sleep and still drunk! :’) Rom had gone too hard at pres and was deeply hanging, so I ushered them all to the bus, which unsurprisingly was quite empty, but surprisingly left on time.


We slept for a bit on the bus, then got on a boat at la punta mita to go to the island. We saw a gorgeous sunrise, but no one was particularly perky. The boat took agesss, like an hour, and it was cold and cloudy. Luckily by the time we got to the island, the sun had come out. Nat and I chilled on some sun loungers and ordered breakfast while the others went off to walk 30mins to a waterfall nearby, which turned out to have dried up. #suckerrrs.


Finally at about 1pm we went snorkelling, but the guide didnt actually give us snorkels, just snorkelling goggles (which cover your nose), so it was really unpractical. We also had to wear life jackets, so annoying. Buuuut we did see dolphins and a huge manta ray JUMP FULLY OUT OF THE WATER. Didn’t even know that was possible. Then we found Dory fish (lol), jellyfish and various other fishies.

By the time we got back to the hotel, we were running 4 hours late already. Nat and I ran to burger king to grab some food, then we set off for CDMX. We hoped to arrive by midnight, but it ended up being 11am on Tuesday. I had to miss work, AGAIN. So sick of Mexican timekeeping!!



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